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Hackety Hack Do Talk Back. . ..
These are the Top Ten phrases I personally loathe, most often employed by intellectually challenged writers & talk show hosts. Anyone heard using any of these should be thought less of immediately, strapped to a rocket & sent into deep space. Below each, is my witty comeback. Dorothy Parker just IM-ed from Heaven to say — she ain’t worried.
1. Excuse me?
OK you’re excused. In fact, you’re expelled. Forever.
2. Moving forward
Be my guest, and please do keep moving.
3. Wrap my mind/head around
Hold still, I’ll help, just let me get my Louisville Slugger.
4. of late
Miss Manners’ lawyer called. She’s suing you for speaking like a prig from a Henry James novel.
5. share with you
No thanks. I’m not into sharing. With you.
6. I’ll be honest with you
I’m pleased you admit it. Up until now, I had the feeling you were lying.
7. own it
Really— you looked like more of renter to me.
8. unlimited use
B U L L S H I T
9. here’s the weather for your ( fill in day of week )
I rather have that guy’s weather over there. He looks happy.
10. I got nothin’
Seriously, I got nothin’. I ran out with number 9.