Archive
A Ronic?
It may be awhile before any of the new smoke clears around Alex Rodriguez. Will he have surgery? or be muy macho, make that muy pendejo and play through it. Until he drops. Then we can have some real fun. The next month will tell the tail ( sic ). Sports people are so ignorant, it’s painful. They prefer to wait until there is real damage—meaning the guy can’t cut it on the field. Sheesh, do you think Madonna. . . oh, never mind.
AND if you have enough money to buy an expensive MLB licensed jersey with A Fraud on the back of it, you need to be made to also have A Hole on the front. It would be stupid any time, but during an economic recession, your credit card should be cut up and you need to see a shrink. That’s not freedom of speech, that’s being free dumb.
All sarcasm aside, this is a serious health issue and the last few weeks have been both figuratively and now literally degenerative, for Rodriguez, the increasingly devalued Golden Boy. The best part really, will be if the healing process will include doctor prescribed anabolic steroids.
NOTE: as of March 8, Mr. Rodriguez has opted for a two-stage hip operation. He has plans to play this season, following a period of rehab. Scheduled return on or about May 11.
A Gony
Breaking News: A Rod needs hip surgery. Out – ? – months. . ..
Gee whiz. I know Selina Roberts is a pain in the ass for Alex Rodriguez, but yikes. May be up to 4 months on the disabled list for a torn labrum! Sounds more like he’s snakebit. Well, at least he’s not ” immature ” like Pat Burrell. Bababooey. . ..
I bet Joe Crede is kicking himself in the ass now ( maybe not ). Anybody have Aaron Boone’s phone number? Scott Brosius? Graig Nettles? Work those phones Cash. Deej—you know David wants in the Bronx—make it happen ( yeah Wright, I mean right ).
I guess A Rod really didn’t want to make that Boston roadie. Speaking of huge pains. And asses.
Something in a 48 and long
I am so worn out with people pontificating, who have never read a book, much less studied history. Even in their own ( and only ) area, of so called expertise. Yet, they look at everything through a toy microscope, while seemingly observing nothing beyond the obvious at the macro level, around them. They do have a name—they are the sports talk hosts, sports writers & the majority of sports fans. There is an old saying: If you can’t be a sport, at least wear a sport’s coat. Sport’s coat collection keeps getting pilfered by the aforementioned. AND they are ill-fitting.
ESPN is purportedly a sports and entertainment network. Most of their program content panders to the NFL and the Boston Red Sox. They have all the instincts of piranha with blood in the water. The current Alex Rodriguez story of steroid abuse, is right in their wheelhouse. They are tracking down A Rod cousins with the pit-bull tenacity of a yenta trying to get a match for an unmarried Hasidic woman pushing 30.
Only a lead with a heavy anti-Yankee angle could drag ESPN kicking & screaming from sucking up to the NFL. The National Football League—where 104 players guilty of steroid use would be the results for just two of their teams. Admittedly, it would be believable if an NFL player had no idea what substance he was shooting up. Baseball players are not all that bright, but compared to football & the other sports ( tennis the one exception ), they are virtual MENSA members.
Oh yes, ESPN is having a field day with A Rod’s downfall. Every move is analyzed, every facial expression critiqued. I can’t help but wonder how they’d have handled this, had Rodriguez become a Boston Red Sox player. Something which almost happened, but for the greed of the Major League Players Association.
Here’s how I imagine ESPN handling the same story—only A Rod is on the A Sox, er I mean Red Sox. . ..
Sports Center — A MLB player, whose anonymity is legally protected, has allegedly tested positive for a substance. This is ESPN Sports Center. Now back to Mike, Mike, Mike, plus Mike with special guest—Other Mike.
Mike: Wow. That’s some story. Hey Mike! You know Sports Illustrated has that swim suit issue coming out.
Mike: Yeah, my wife won’t let me see it. I made a doctor appointment, hoping he’ll have a copy in the waiting room.
Mike: Ha ha ha well, I bet what happened is the player was struggling and maybe had a protein shake right before the test any way.
Mike: Absolutely. And the SI reporter—isn’t she the one who got that Duke Lacrosse rape story all wrong? I’m trying to wrap my head around that.
Mike: That’s her all right. Hmmmm and also I’m guessing she’s not in the swimsuit issue too.
Mike: Ha ha ha ha ha. OK going forward. The NFL Draft is coming up in a few months. I hear this season they’re drafting Junior High kids. Smart move!
Mike: For sure Mike. I bet they have training programs especially set up for them. Lots of juice and running!
Mike: You bet. Lots of healthy juices.
Mike: I guess we should mention baseball spring training Mike.
Mike: Yep. Red Sox look awesome of late. Especially A Rod. What an ath-ah-lete!
Mike: You got that right Mike. Madonna sure looks awesome for 50. She’s un-compare-able. Probably in the Top 100 or at least 1000 for her age.
Mike: Mmmm SHE could be in the swim suit issue!
Mike: Great Mike. But I really can’t wait to see some of those 12 year old boys run the 440 at the Combine.
Mike: I’m not the Mike who said that!
Mike: Me neither!
Mike: Not me I’m married.
Mike: How ’bout that swimsuit issue!
______________________________________________________________________
I wish they’d all just go to Texas. AND take all those bad sportscoats with them.
A-non y nonny
Dateline NY, NY February 10, 2009
Sports Illustrated has prepared a retraction regarding the revelation Alex Rodriguez used steroids. It will state that their reporter mistook the abbreviation Anon for Arod, saying- ” Hey, I was in the dark and had blinders on. . ..” Oddly the rest of the list was 103 names, all John Doe. In light of the fact Mr. Rodriguez has since admitted use of a PED, it’s all moot. Once again proving the old adage, don’t believe everything you read, and only half of what you see. QED
In a related story, there is no truth to the rumor Boston fans have thought of a new heckle. Adding the word ” sucks ” to everything, is still the sum total of their wit.