Hackety Hack Do Talk Back. . ..
These are the Top Ten phrases I personally loathe, most often employed by intellectually challenged writers & talk show hosts. Anyone heard using any of these should be thought less of immediately, strapped to a rocket & sent into deep space. Below each, is my witty comeback. Dorothy Parker just IM-ed from Heaven to say — she ain’t worried.
1. Excuse me?
OK you’re excused. In fact, you’re expelled. Forever.
2. Moving forward
Be my guest, and please do keep moving.
3. Wrap my mind/head around
Hold still, I’ll help, just let me get my Louisville Slugger.
4. of late
Miss Manners’ lawyer called. She’s suing you for speaking like a prig from a Henry James novel.
5. share with you
No thanks. I’m not into sharing. With you.
6. I’ll be honest with you
I’m pleased you admit it. Up until now, I had the feeling you were lying.
7. own it
Really— you looked like more of renter to me.
8. unlimited use
B U L L S H I T
9. here’s the weather for your ( fill in day of week )
I rather have that guy’s weather over there. He looks happy.
10. I got nothin’
Seriously, I got nothin’. I ran out with number 9.
The one I really hate is hacked off.
Dr. B
If you read any of my other posts, you’d readily observe I play on word meanings. The use of hacked off here connects to a hack writer – writing for monetary gain with no regard for aesthetics in the content. I am both chiding them & pointing a finger at myself. A finger, which, if it stayed out too long might be, hacked off.
Nice mandolin btw. . ..
Hey Juke,
Old Doc was just being contrary. Love your blog and agree 100% as to these old worn out phrases. Now I gotta go back and edit mine.
Keep it up, man, you’re just keeping us all honest. (includng yourself)
Dr. B
Be glad you don’t work in the advertising business, which is fraught with nauseating buzz words — typically spoken by puffed-up marketing types who love talking to themselves. Ironically, these are the people who are supposed to know how to connect with the average consumer.
NO wonder I failed when I did work with an ad agency & my own freelance stuff. I don’t think anyone is free of using a cliché—they do have a place. I’m hardly a by the book writer or speaker. Those are just the phrases which get the gag reflex spazzing.