Hackety Hack Do Talk Back. . ..

These are the Top Ten phrases I personally loathe, most often employed by intellectually challenged writers & talk show hosts. Anyone heard using any of these should be thought less of immediately, strapped to a rocket & sent into deep space. Below each, is my witty comeback. Dorothy Parker just IM-ed from Heaven to say — she ain’t worried.

1. Excuse me?

OK you’re excused. In fact, you’re expelled. Forever.

2. Moving forward

Be my guest, and please do keep moving.

3. Wrap my mind/head around

Hold still, I’ll help, just let me get my Louisville Slugger.

4. of late

Miss Manners’ lawyer called. She’s suing you for speaking like a prig from a Henry James novel.

5. share with you

No thanks. I’m not into sharing. With you.

6. I’ll be honest with you

I’m pleased you admit it. Up until now, I had the feeling you were lying.

7. own it

Really— you looked like more of renter to me.

8. unlimited use


9. here’s the weather for your ( fill in day of week )

I rather have that guy’s weather over there. He looks happy.

10. I got nothin’

Seriously, I got nothin’.  I ran out with number 9.

  1. February 9, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    The one I really hate is hacked off.

    Dr. B

    • February 10, 2009 at 1:56 am

      If you read any of my other posts, you’d readily observe I play on word meanings. The use of hacked off here connects to a hack writer – writing for monetary gain with no regard for aesthetics in the content. I am both chiding them & pointing a finger at myself. A finger, which, if it stayed out too long might be, hacked off.

      Nice mandolin btw. . ..

  2. February 10, 2009 at 7:04 am

    Hey Juke,

    Old Doc was just being contrary. Love your blog and agree 100% as to these old worn out phrases. Now I gotta go back and edit mine.

    Keep it up, man, you’re just keeping us all honest. (includng yourself)

    Dr. B

  3. southofmoon
    February 16, 2009 at 10:45 am

    Be glad you don’t work in the advertising business, which is fraught with nauseating buzz words — typically spoken by puffed-up marketing types who love talking to themselves. Ironically, these are the people who are supposed to know how to connect with the average consumer.

    • February 19, 2009 at 5:58 am

      NO wonder I failed when I did work with an ad agency & my own freelance stuff. I don’t think anyone is free of using a cliché—they do have a place. I’m hardly a by the book writer or speaker. Those are just the phrases which get the gag reflex spazzing.

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